Children grow strong preferences throughout their development. They determine what they prefer or what they do not prefer in many areas of their daily life. In regards to mealtime experiences, children learn what their mouth likes and what their mouth dislikes. Parents help support their child’s autonomy by adhering to their child’s wishes, however, we also want children to continue learning about new foods as they grow. The trick is to help them explore at a pace that feels right for them. If children feel pressured or stressed during exploration at mealtimes they may not believe mealtimes are enjoyable. At times, children may show: 

• Crying/whining
• Refuses to sit at the table
• Refuses to eat
• Gagging at the sight/smell of food
• Food aversion
• Turns body away from food
• Zoning out
• Constant fidgeting
• Talking too much or not talking at all
• Making “a scene” at the table

Children learn from their personal experiences throughout their lifetime. Your child may have had a bad experience with mealtimes which could lead to a negative association with feeding, and they may use some of the above behaviors to avoid/escape the stress of mealtimes. There are many reasons why children may not be feeling successful at mealtimes such that they want to avoid them. Some children may:

• be more sensitive to certain flavors, textures, temperatures
• have delays in oral motor development (ex: a new chewer, suck/swallow skills, tongue movements) that make eating difficult or scary
• avoid oral input or worry about placing certain foods in their mouths
• have a history of vomiting, choking, or other negative experiences related to eating that make them worry when eating
• be used to having distractions at the table (watching tv or tablet)
• have underlying medical concerns that make eating different foods uncomfortable
• be more sensitive to change or novelty
• have experiences of being pushed further/faster than they were ready

Using a responsive approach, parents must proceed without pressure. Sometimes, parents just want to rush their child through to get to the end result of Just. Eat. The. Food. Remaining patient in spite of wanting to just get their kids to eat is one of the hardest things parents may deal with. Parents can provide opportunities to interact with familiar and unfamiliar foods, during and outside of mealtimes to promote positive interactions without pressure. Parents can find ways to promote opportunities for positive mealtime experiences such as:

• Personal food place mat where the child can explore the food any way they prefer (it may get messy! -But that’s okay!)
• Mealtime routines to be more predictable and enjoyable (sitting together as a family at the table and eating with your child)
• Modeling food exploration (your child can observe how you touch/taste/eat foods and learns that food is safe to explore)
• Encouragement for their efforts (vs. praise when they eat)
• Appropriate responses to child’s cues 

Respecting your child’s pace for exploration can help them build positive connections with food. New experiences can be daunting to little ones, so supporting and being connected with your child through new and difficult experiences is important for them to feel safe and explore life. Like any new skill, it takes time, patience, and repetitions to be able to learn and build confidence. 

Written by: Nicole Bing, OTD-S

References

Agras, W. S., Hammer, L. D., Huffman, L. C., Mascola, A., Bryson, S. W., & Danaher, C. (2012). Improving healthy eating in families with a toddler at risk for overweight: a cluster randomized controlled trial. Journal of developmental and behavioral pediatrics: JDBP, 33(7), 529.

Black, M. M., & Hurley, K. M. (2017). Responsive feeding: Strategies to promote healthy mealtime interactions. In Complementary feeding: building the foundations for a healthy life (Vol. 87, pp. 153-165). Karger Publishers.

Milano, K., Chatoor, I., & Kerzner, B. (2019). A functional approach to feeding difficulties in children. Current gastroenterology reports, 21(10), 1-8.